POETRY LOUNGE

Delirium

Mother don’t go
I promise I’ll be good
Mother please
Mother, mother…

Let her go
We’ll be fine on our own
You’ve got me
We’ll be together.
Eternity.

But mothermine… She’s never going to come back

You don’t need her. Come, tell me what’s on your mind?

This girl
She calls me
A mistake
A bastard
A mongrel.
But why
I never knew daddy.
So how is it my fault then?

Of course it’s your fault
You can’t blame that girl for the truth
You’re worthless
Your father never wanted you
Now even your mother’s left you
You evidently have no friends.
Just me.
Eternity.

Jayden.
He smiled at me today
It was at someone behind you
He said hello
That’s because he felt bad for you
He said he liked my eyes.
How does he see them behind those repulsive glasses?
He held my hand
That was by accident
He kissed my cheek
I hope he hasn’t fallen ill
He asked me out
Now you’re just being delusional
He said he loves me.
Don’t get your hopes up sweetheart
He doesn’t love you
I know it, you know it.
Don’t lie to yourself
Nobody loves you
Nobody has ever loved you
Nobody will ever want to love you
Worthless.

She called Mother a harlot.
A bedwarmer.
A whore
She can’t say that
That’s not true
Don’t blame her.
It’s all because of you
What…What did I do?
What can I do?
Nothing….
Well, not nothing
There’s something you can do.
What do you mean?
A swish
A slit
A spurt
Red.
Isn’t that wrong?
A sin?
Crime?
It’s not for me
Coward.

I won’t do it
Pathetic
It’s just wrong
Tell me fool, then what is right?
I’ll talk to her.
Words can make a difference.
Oh sweetheart, actions speak louder than words.
I won’t do it
Yes you will.
No, I won’t play executioner for you.
You’re not doing this for me…
No
No
Nonononono.
NO!
Yes……
It’s done…

Now no one will bother you
It’s just you and me….
Eternity.

 

Background:

Each of us has a ‘little voice’ in our head that tells us what to do. This poem explores the horrors of schizophrenia by emphasising the power and influence of the ‘little voice’ on one’s actions when one is schizophrenic. By bringing in the aspects of abandonment and frequent taunting, we have tried to show how most schizophrenic individuals are shunned in society rather than supported.

 

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